The State: Here to Help or Hurt?

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, my child care assistance through DHS is being cancelled because I dropped a class.  As a possible alternative, I met with Shelley Hatcher, a Promise Jobs Advisor with Iowa Workforce Development to talk about getting child care assistance through their program and also about getting FIP payments (since "The Ejaculation" is no longer paying any child support).  At the appointment today, I was informed that I was not a strong enough candidate and they would not help me with services.  They feel that my getting an education is an "unattainable goal" and "not worth the investment" because I am "unreliable".  They feel that I am unreliable because I changed from a nursing major to psychology (how many college students change majors? I don't know a single one who hasn't, really) and because I dropped a class this semester (I guess a 4.0 gpa doesn't really matter when you have ONE bad semester).  When I asked about the possibility of taking an online class to make up the credits, I was informed that would not be a wise choice for me because I am "the kind of person that requires extra assistance and wouldn't be able to handle an online class".  This decision was made because I asked a lot of questions while filling out their paperwork.  The problem that I had with their paperwork was that every question was black and white and the majority of life (ok, all of life) is lived in grey areas.  I had a hard time with questions such as "In the past year, has your partner threatened or abuse you and you have legitimate reasons to be afraid?"  My problem with this question is that: No, in the last year Ryan has not abused me, but he has threatened me and I am scared... and he's not my partner.  So I wanted to verify what all the questions covered in order to answer them correctly.  Because of this, I am slow and "require extra help."  To say the least, I AM PISSED!! I ended up walking out of the office because my hands hurt from white knuckling the chair in an effort not to slap her and my jaw hurt from keeping it clenched in an effort to avoid telling her off!  Who the hell is she to think that she has the power to decide if my education is worthwhile?  If I will ever amount to anything?  I'm sure if she took her head out of her ass she'd realize the effort I have put forth the last few years, how hard I have worked, and that I AM WORTH IT!!  But, because of my hard and unreliable life (which she thinks is a reason that I will never amount to anything in this field because "How can I help anybody when I can't even manage my own life?") I KNOW that I WILL rise above this challenge, and I KNOW that my hard work WILL amount to something, and I KNOW that I WILL make it (with or without that womans help) and I WILL make a difference.  Honestly, I feel sorry for her.  Maybe her job and life has her so desensitized that she can no longer feel anything, have faith in anything, or believe in anything/anybody.  Truly, she is worse off than me.  At least I have dreams to reach for, faith in God and myself, and I am able to see others pain and needs and find a way to help them through it.  She is definately in the wrong profession.  Maybe she once (long ago) had a dream to become something else and got stuck with this because she didn't have faith in her own ability.  Giving up on your own dreams could definately make somebody behave like that... Luckily, due to my passion of psychology I am able to not take this completely personally but look at all the different possibilities.  My "unreliable" past and stress and struggles is what gave me this ability, and I am grateful for that.  Because without all that, would I have turned out like her?